I talk here about relationships. Yeah - not your usual topic here on www.opinionated-alchemist.com; but I guess most of us, have some issues to find the right opposite [to ride into the sunset - or maybe better to shake into the dawn].
- We have night working hours - this is not compatible with most other jobs.
- We have an especially bad reputation - bartenders are said to be superficial lady killers who are not committed to any serious relationship. Off course there are some who are like this, but most of us are just normal as anyone else.
- There is the reputation, that all ladies are in love with the bartender - and you could plug everyday another "daisy". Off course this is also not true [it depends on the bar your working at - but for those serious bartenders in serious bars, it is first of all a no-go to go out with a guest, and then there are not hordes of screaming "conceivable" girls in front of a profound bar.
The problem is, that these perceptions are following us, and all women think, that we are demons in shakers [and yes - some are intrigued by the thought to risk a dance with the devil - but there are not a lot who consider a serious relationship with a bartender or even other nightlife personality].
We are lucky, when we found someone, who understands what we are doing, and who are ok, with our working times.
In my current [or should I say fading] relationship, I found a partner, who is also working in the same industry. She was far of being a jovial easy personality and I had to put a lot of effort, lots of tears and commitment into the relationship. Sometimes [she would say often] I failed!
But it was almost 8 years, we stuck together. There were hard times and I have to say, that overall seen, there were not so many happy days. But I always thought it was worth it - I always looked positive into the future. A future which seems now to be ended.
Now I am sitting here - upset, heart-broken, sad and try to write my grief from my soul [which seems not really to work].
Can I give any tips for relationships? For the moment I am more like: don't commit, just have fun, take every moving female, which is not on the trees on the count of three...
Off course I am not serious. But I know as well, that the whole shit starts over again. And there is so much failures on the path of a serious relationship [and I didn't mentioned, that it is a happy and long relationship]. There is the stage of getting to know [meet] somebody - which is spiked with fails. And then there is the stage, to intensify the relationship - no need of mentioning, that in these first couple of months, usually the most epic fails happen. And then there is the stage of settling into a relationship - which is rather annoying, because you have to give so much up, without a guarantee, that it is worth it.
Love really sucks. And bartender love sucks even more...